i barfeds in our rink
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
