Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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