remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
