My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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