Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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