After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
