Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
