so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
