If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
