so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
