My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
