I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
