Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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