Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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