For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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