turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
