i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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