I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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