Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
