y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
high people should be assigned attendants
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize