i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have fence marks all over my body
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
