Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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