In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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