That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
