Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
