Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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