i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
