He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
