Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am available for nakedness
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
