I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
