I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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