Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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