i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
