Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
