sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
