I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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