Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
