It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
