Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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