I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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