they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize