I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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