Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
