well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
