I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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