I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
