...so i touched it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
