We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
