Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
