I can tuck mytits in my pants
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I party with great urgency now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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