we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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