Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
