Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
