i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
