i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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