We're like a lot better than the average bears
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it's like iHOP with fire
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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