I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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