Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
